After Mom Died!

When Mom died, Dad wandered around aimlessly--figuratively speaking. My brothers and sister all did all we could to include him in what we were doing. I remember the Friday after Thanksgiving, in my front yard, he and I were watching the girls play. Mom had been gone for 3 months. I made some remark about wishing I knew what to do to help him feel better. His reply, "Ralph, you can not be my buddy. You are my son and you are exactly what I want in a son. But you cannot replace what I had with Betty!"

I was caught off guard, and though I did not want to admit it, I knew it was true. I was thinking like a 35 year old who wanted to protect and defend. It was that day I realized that there is a different perspective in every relationship. It was that day that made it acceptable in my mind when, a few months later, Dad said he and Melba were going to get married. It was that day that made me seriously consider what I would really do if my precious wife were to precede in death.

I can not imagine making the adjustments of a new mate. But I hate to be alone. I would be as lost and aimless as my dad was if I had no companion to help me see things clearly and support me in the endeavors of life. I would not settle for just any wife, but I am relatively sure I would want to find a friend with whom to spend the last of my life.

I have a younger sister who was not happy that Dad was remarrying. She felt he was being unfaithful to Mom. The day before the wedding, she came to my house to tell me she had just come from meeting with Dad. She had told him that she did not want him to get married. He had said, “Yes you do, because you want me to be happy and this is going to make me happy.”

She said a few more things in anger and left to come to my house. She asked me what else she could have said. I told her she had already said too much. Dad has now been married again for nearly 25 years and we all love Melba, including my sister. We are all very glad Dad has a partner to share his life and fill his heart.

A Day At Dad's House!

Dad called early this week to let me know that he had just finished digging the ‘taters in his back yard garden. He harvested 167 pounds of new potatoes. I had to get down to his place, about sixty miles away, before all my siblings and dad’s neighbors had taken them all. So we went today.

Dad loves to dig in the dirt and his yard is a showplace almost all year round. He still has poinsettias as tall as the eaves of his house, which have been blooming since November. The amaryllis, the Confederate roses, the larkspur, the hidden ginger lilies, the esperanza and the gladiolas all are in bloom. But the real jaw dropping beauty is in his day lilies. Dad has over 300 different varieties of day lily. He colors are amazing. People in the community often stop to take pictures. My secretary goes through the town where Dad lives when she is on the way to visit her mother. She loves to take a three block detour to see what is going on in Dad’s garden.

To add to the joy of the day, my grandsons took their ball gloves so they could play while we visited. As we loaded up, I threw in a couple of gloves as well. As I suspected, the boys asked Dad if he would play catch with them. He said he did not have a glove anymore. I told him I had a couple in the car, if he was up to playing. We went out and threw the ball around for a half an hour. Before long Dad was telling the guys how to turn their gloves and to use two hands, and to get right in front of the ball. It sure brought back memories of the thousands of days he said those things to me when I was the age my grandsons are now!

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