A few months ago a blog friend shared the news that a 5 year old child in her town was killed in an accident. She asked me some questions about dealing with such a loss. I agreed to post some thoughts, and to seek your thoughts as a way to ease my friend's anguish.
One of the most difficult aspects of the ministry is to deal with such moments. I have conducted literally hundreds of funerals, but thankfully have had only a few involving children.
The difficulty is not in my concern for the child, but for those who have been dealt the blow of losing a little one. The child’s welfare is secure in the hands of God. At a funeral it is not my practice to preach a sermon to convert someone, but rather I try to bring comfort from Scripture; and to call to mind pleasant stories and memories of the life we shared with the deceased.
In order to more completely answer my friend’s question, I decided to include the words I presented at a funeral I conducted for a six year old little girl in April of 1995. I will change the name of the little girl to Eve, in consideration of the family.
Prayer for God’s blessings on the proceedings.
In times of our deepest sorrow, our real peace and courage come from our relationship with God and His promises. I’d like to read a few passages that I hope will bring comfort to your wounded hearts.
Psalm 139:13-18 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and tat my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts to me, O God, How vast is the sum of them, they would outnumber the sand.”
“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and whoso shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me. Despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” (Mt 9; Mk 9; Lk 9)
“Jesus said, suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And he laid his hands on them.” (Mt 19: 14-15)
“The chief priests saw the children crying in the temple, and saying Hosanna to the son of David; out of the mouths of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise.” (Mt 21:15)At times like this it is normal for those left behind to have some questions about the love of God, and maybe to have their confidence shaken a little. To each of you, and especially the family, please consider, God does not deceive. He reveals Himself to the humble; gives understanding to little ones and opens sense to pure minds. Human reason is feeble and may be deceived, but true faith cannot be deceived.
All reason and natural searching ought to follow faith and not go before it. God, sho is eternal and incomprehensible and of infinite power, does things great and unsearechable in Heaven and on earth.
There is no tracing out His marvelous works. If the works of God were easily comprehensible by human reason, they could not justly be called marvelous or unsearchable, and God would not be God.
It is so hard to give up a loved one, to look past out momentary loss of a daughter, granddaughter or friend. The separation and the [pain are so vivid that we can hardly realize that Eve has attained the goal that we truly desire, ant that is to spend eternity in heaven with our Creator, in a place that has no heartache, no tears, only complete joy and security.
By a tragic death, we are brought the reminder that our lives here are a vapor, that we can only count on today. And today we must each bear a part of the grief at the passing of our loved one from this life and at the same time realize that life is fleeting. We need to recall the pleasant times with Eve and then fis our eyes upon how we will utilize our remaining days on earth. We must persevere, despite the tears.
I would like to share with you a few line from a poem by Edgar A. Guest, called
“To All Parents.”I’ll lend you a little time a Child of Mine, He said. “For you to love while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead. It may be six or seven years or twenty two or three, But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me? He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief. You'll have those lovely memories as solace for your grief.”
“I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return. But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. I’ve looked this wide world over in search of teachers true, and from the throngs that crowd life’s lane, I have selected you. Now will you give him all your love, not think the labor vain, nor hae me when I come to call to take him back again? “
“I fancied that I heard you say, ‘Dear Lord, Thy will be done.’ For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run. We’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may, and for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay. But should the angels call for him much sooner than we planned, we’ll brave the bitter grief that comes try to understand.”Prayer: Our dear Father in heaven, hallowed be your great and matchless name. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. And may we, O Father, recognize your will and accept it graciously. As our mortal minds are wounded at the grievous loss of Eve, help us to see beyond our tears and aching to the glorious comfort that is heaven. And, Lord, hasten the day when our faith will be made sight. We ask in the name of Jesus, our Lord. Amen.
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